Showing posts with label editing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label editing. Show all posts

Thursday, July 27, 2023

What are the five reasons to use passive voice?

USE ACTIVE VOICE
As listed below, there are only 5 reasons one should EVER use passive voice. If you don't need to use passive voice for one of those 5 reasons, then you must write active sentences. Simple? Yes. Easy? No. Read on, brave writer!



What is active voice?
·       The subject does the action.

Example of active voice

Part of speech
Subject
Verb
Object

Sentence
The group
will present
the report
next week.

How can you tell if a sentence is active?
·       Ask yourself, "Who/What does the action?" If the answer is clear, the sentence is active.
o   Example: The students tested the samples.
o   Example: The samples failed.

Why use active voice?
·       Where possible, use the active voice. It is direct, brief, and easy to understand.



What is passive voice?
·       The passive voice places the emphasis on the action, rather than the actor.  

Example of passive voice

Part of speech
Subject
Verb
Object

Sentence
The report
will be presented
by the group
next week.


How can you tell if a sentence is passive?
·       The direct object is placed before the verb, which is given in the passive form. The subject, or actor, is usually not mentioned.
o   Example: The samples were tested.

Why use passive voice?
·       Passive voice is used frequently in technical (and academic) writing, where the focus is usually on what was done rather than who did it. It is conventionally used to report experimental procedures and to avoid constant repetition of I or we throughout the report, paper, or thesis.
·       Use passive voice for a specific purpose, not simply out of habit.
·       In order to use passive voice correctly, it is necessary to understand, and be able to recognize, the difference between passive and active voice.




Exercise

· Find and circle all examples of passive voice in your paper.
· Do they fit one of the five reasons bel
ow?

 

Five reasons for using the passive voice

 

1. The 'actor' is not known.
·       Oil was discovered off the coast of Australia.
·       The number of Internet users was estimated to be over one million.

2. The 'actor' is not important.
·       The report has been published.
·       The results will be presented at the conference.

3. It is considered desirable to conceal the identity of the 'actor'.
·       The results are invalid, as the correct testing procedure was not followed.          
·       Research funding will be cut next year.

4. An impersonal tone is needed for academic writing.
·       In this report, the stress fields in a C-shape plate will be analyzed.
An impersonal tone is also used for describing processes.
·       First, the raw materials are loaded into a container ...

5. A tactful tone is needed to smooth over an error or difficulty.
Compare these two examples.
·       Example of passive voice: The samples were not checked at the second stage . . .
·       Example of active voice: We forgot to check the samples . . .


Homework: Find all passive voice sentences that do not fit one of the five reasons. Then, change them into active voice. 

WHAT IS PASSIVE VOICE?

Passive voice is used frequently in technical writing, where the focus is usually on what was done rather than who did it. It is conventionally used to report experimental procedures and to avoid constant repetition of I or we throughout the report, paper or thesis.

In order to use passive voice correctly, it is necessary to fully understand, and be able to recognize, the difference between passive and active voice.




Active and passive voice
  • The active voice names an 'actor' which/who is the subject of the verb; the actor does the verb.
Who/What does the verb? 
  • If the answer is clear, the sentence is active. 
Note that often, there is a direct object (DO) 'receiving' the action.
 
Part of speech
Subject
Verb

Sentence
The students
tested
the samples.

The samples
failed.



Who/What is the verb done to? This is the direct object.

Part of speech
Subject
Verb
Direct Object
Sentence
The students
tested
the samples.


Where possible, use the active voice. It is direct, brief, and easy to understand.
The passive voice places the emphasis on the action rather than the actor. The direct object is placed before the verb, which is given in the passive form. The subject, or actor, is usually not mentioned.

Example: The samples were tested.

Formation of the passive

The passive can use any tense of the verb to be + a past participle

Subject
Any tense of the verb to be +
A past participle
The load/s
is/are
was/were
calculated.
The report/s
has been
have been
presented.

The sample/s
will be
can be
tested.


The result/s
is/are being
(should) have been
(could) have been

compared





Changing passive to active

To spot passive sentences, look for a form of the verb to be in your sentence, with the actor either missing or introduced after the verb using the word "by":
  • Genetic information is encoded by DNA.
  • The possibility of cold fusion has been examined for many years.

Try turning each passive sentence you find into an active one. Start your new sentence with the actor. Sometimes you may find that need to do some extra research or thinking to figure out who the actor should be! You will likely find that your new sentence is stronger, shorter, and more precise:

  • DNA encodes genetic information.
  • Physicists have examined the possibility of cold fusion for many years.
(found at http://www.writing.utoronto.ca/advice/style-and-editing/passive-voice; accessed 2012/04)

Changing active to passive

Example of active voice

Part of speech
Subject
Verb
Object

Sentence
The group
will present
the report
next week.


STEP 1: move the object to the subject position
  • The report ...

STEP 2: change the verb to the passive, making sure that BE takes the same tense as the verb in the active sentence
  • The report will be presented ...

STEP 3: drop the subject
  • Example of passive voice without the subject: The report will be presented next week.

or move it to a position after the verb
  • Example of passive voice with the subject: The report will be presented by the group next week.





Verbs that can't be used in the passive

Most verbs can be changed from active to passive.

Active voice: We tested the samples. > Passive voice: The samples were tested.

If the verb can be followed by a direct object (a direct object answers the question who or what after the verb) it can be made passive.

Part of speech

Verb
Direct object
Sentence

These difficulties
may delay
the completion of the project.


But the verb occur, for example, cannot take a direct object.

Part of speech

Verb
Indirect object
Sentence

A solution

occurred

to him.

This cannot be transformed to the passive since there is no direct object to become the subject.

Some verbs that can be used only in the active are: occur, rise, happen, arise, fall, exist, consist (of), depend (on),  result (from).

Active and passive verbs

Active (correct)
Passive (incorrect)
Problems may
occur
happen
arise
exist
Problems may be
occurred
happened
arisen
existed
They
consist of
depend on
They are

consist of
depend on
Note: 'They are dependent on . . .' is correct since 'dependent' is an adjective.

A special case:

Part of speech
Subject
Verb
Object
Sentence
They
lack
resources.

Lack can take a direct object but cannot be transformed to the passive: Resources are lacked (incorrect). However, you could write: Resources are lacking.


Concern and involve

Concerned about means 'worried about'.  Concerned with means 'involved in'. The passive voice can be used with both meanings. Whether or not they can be used in the passive depends on the meaning.

To involve has three meanings:
  1. To participate, to take part
  2. To include
  3. To require
Only the first meaning, to participate, to take part can be used in the passive form.
  • This week, students are involved in lab work.
The active voice must be used with the second meaning, to include.
  • Example: He often involves his students in his research.
The active voice must also be used with the third meaning, to require.
  • Example: The project involves buying new software.

Friday, February 10, 2023

"Show, don't tell" or rather, "Show AND tell" – Good Writing's Golden Rule

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. —Anton Chekhov

Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon. —Sol Stein

Instead of writing, 'I was frightened,' describe your fear in detail. 'My heart was racing. I could barely breathe and found myself unable to speak.' Charlie Badenhop



An old journalistic maxim, “Show, don’t tell,” demands that writers show their actions to express an event or story and not just offer the results of what happened.
  • To "show" means to demonstrate.
  • To "tell" means to assert.
Watch this video to SEE the difference. 
(if the link above does not work, please try this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syoSgZ8M8s4&t=3668s)

Now, go back to your essay. Instead of abstract words, try using words that will appear in the mind's eye of your readers as images. 

For example, we may say, "He is sloppy." This is telling. Instead, if you say, "His shoelaces are untied, his socks are mismatched, his shirt untucked, and his face unwashed." This is showing.

To truly convince your readers, make sure to show with details exactly what you mean. Save your assertions for the topic and controlling sentences.

You can't tell us someone is a wonderful person, a talented musician, or a spoiled child. We won't believe you. You must show us.

Please add details so readers can imagine and care about your story. 

Please watch this short video to learn HOW to add details to your essays. 
(If the link above does not work, please try this one

Finally, please read this example. 

TELL
“I arrived at ABC Bank and took on a great deal of responsibility in corporate lending. I managed diverse clients in my first year and earned the recognition of my manager. Because of my hard work, initiative, and leadership, he placed me on the management track, and I knew that I would be a success in this challenging position.”

In the two sentences above, the reader is told that the applicant “took on a great deal of responsibility,” “managed diverse clients,” and “earned recognition,” none of which is substantiated via the story. Further, there is no evidence of “hard work, initiative, and leadership.”

SHOW 
“Almost immediately after joining ABC bank, I took a risk in asking management for the accounts left by a recently transferred manager. Soon, I expanded our lending relationships with a children’s clothing retailer, a metal recycler, and a food distributor, making decisions on loans of up to $1M. Although I had a commercial banking background, I sought the mentorship of our District Manager and studied aggressively for the CFA (before and after fourteen-hour days); I was encouraged when the Lending Officer cited my initiative and desire to learn, placing me on our management track….”

In the example above, the story shows the “great deal of responsibility” (client coverage/ $1M lending decisions) and “diverse clients” (a children’s clothing retailer, a metal recycler, and a food distributor). Further, “hard work, initiative, and leadership” are clear throughout.

The latter is a more interesting, rich, and humble paragraph that is more likely to captivate the reader. By showing your actions in detail, the same conclusions are drawn, but facts facilitate them. Essentially, facts become your evidence!

(found at http://www.mbamission.com/blog/2010/11/22/monday-morning-essay-tip-show-dont-tell-2/; accessed 2010/11)

More tips here

When should I use numerals (1, 2, 3) instead of words (one, two, three)?

PLEASE NOTE: USE THESE TIPS FOR ESSAYS. THIS ADVICE DOES NOT APPLY TO RESUMES, CVs, AND APPLICATION FORMS, WHERE IT IS BEST TO CONSERVE SPACE BY USING NUMERALS (1, 2, 10, 20, etc.)

Also, even in essays, you can use numerals for time (e.g., 1 a.m.), $,¥,%

Q: HOW DO I WRITE NUMBERS?
Use numerals for numbers 10 or over, and spell the words for 1 to 9.
However, don't mix numerals and the words for them when talking about the same category of items. Choose a form and stick to it.
e.g., Of the 20 students, only two failed the exam.
Is incorrect.

Of the 20 students, only 2 failed the exam.
Of the twenty students, only two failed the exam.
Both are correct.

Use numbers (numerals) in these instances:
1. For all numbers 10 and above: "There were 17 students in class."
2. All numbers below 10 are grouped in comparison to numbers 10 and above: "Ony 5 of 17 students passed the course."
3. When using numbers immediately before a unit of measure: "a 5-minute wait."
4. Numbers that represent statistical or mathematical functions or formulas: "a ratio of 12:1."
5. Numbers that represent time, dates, ages, sizes, scores, money, and points on a scale: "It happened 5 years ago"; "a roomful of 6-year-olds"; "$40."
6. Numbers represent a place in a series: "week 7 of an 8-week diet."
7. In a list of four or more numbers: "We had 1, 2, 5, and 8 pieces, respectively."
For complete information, you may wish to check the APA manual.

Writing Numbers
Reviewing the Rules
By Grace Fleming, About.com Guide
Why do so many people find it difficult to remember the rules for using numbers in formal writing? Probably because the rules seem a little fuzzy sometimes. So what can you do? It's no mystery: as with anything, read and study the rules several times, and it will all seem natural, eventually.

Writing Numbers One through Ten
Spell out numbers one through ten, as in this example:

My little brother ate four apples before dinner and became ill.
Why do parents always check to see if babies have ten toes? Writing Numbers Above Ten Spell out numbers above ten, unless writing the number would involve using more than two words. For example:

I have sixty-three dead bugs in my collection.
My cousin has 207 bugs in his. (That would be three words, not counting "and.")
This site has given me a thousand helpful hints for my homework.
My grandmother is seventy-two today.
My little sister had about 4,763 measles on her face. (That would be four words.)
Always spell out numbers that begin sentences:

Four hundred and fifty people attended the birthday party.
However, you should try to avoid using long, clunky numbers at the beginning of a sentence:

There were 450 people at the party.
Dates, phone numbers, and time: Use numbers for dates:

My birthday is March 16.
He was born on Valentine's Day, 1975. And use numbers for phone numbers:

The phone number for the school is 800-555-6262
The international code for England is 44. And use numbers for time if using a.m. or p.m.:

The alarm will sound at 7 p.m.
I make my bed at 7 a.m. each morning. But spell out times when using "o'clock" or when the a.m. or p.m. are omitted:

The alarm will sound at seven o'clock.
I make my bed at seven each morning.

Saturday, September 4, 2021

How can I proofread and edit my writing?

First, I encourage you to use this three-step proofreading method.

SPELL CHECK for careless mistakes: First, please use the free spell and grammar check programs offered by MS Word and/or Google Docs.

READ ALOUD to check your grammar and style: Next, read your essay draft aloud at full volume to catch awkward phrasings and words that you are using too frequently.

READ BACKWARDS to check your logic: 
After taking a short break (get away from your computer!), read your essay "backward". Start with your final sentence and work back to your first. Are you making any logical leaps? How are your transitions?

More Proofreading Strategies to Try

Skim your paper, pausing at the words "and" and "or." Check on each side of these words to see whether the items joined are parallel. If not, make them parallel.
If you have several items in a list, put them in a column to see if they are parallel.
Listen to the sound of the items in a list of the items being compared. Do you hear the same kinds of sounds? For example, is there a series of "-ing" words beginning each item? Or do you hear a rhythm being repeated? If something is breaking that rhythm or repetition of sound, check to see if it needs to be made parallel.

How To Edit Your Own Writing (Self-Editing)

Editing takes considerable patience. I list below some reasonable ideas for each edit cycle. The sequence that you execute these steps may impact the style you produce; experiment a bit to see what order works best for your writing. You will know you are done editing when you are positively sick and tired of reading your work again.

A. Dictionary Check

Go through your document and look up in a dictionary any words where you aren't 101 percent sure of their meaning. I've surprised myself a couple of times when I have used a word repeatedly only to look it up and find it has another meaning entirely.

B. Action and Active Voice

Your writing will be clearer if you structure your sentences as subject-verb-object; tell action rather than describing situations. Use your word processor to search for words ending in "-ed" -- if you preceded this word by "is" or "was" (or similar verbs) the phrase would be better rewritten. Also, check for the word "there" followed by "is" or "are" (or similar verbs).

D. Be Positive

Occasionally the word "not" is useful for emphasis. Most of the time though a sentence is stronger when positive; use your word processor to search for the word "not" and recast the sentence using other descriptives.

E. Drown Your Darlings

If something sticks in your mind as being "ever so clever" you probably should remove it.

F. Re-order Your Words and Sentences

Keep related words together -- adjectives next to their nouns.


MY ESSAY IS STILL TOO LONG! HOW DO I CUT WORDS?
Read your essay aloud at full volume (doing so forces you to go slow).
After each word or phrase, ask yourself, "If I cut this, will my meaning change?"
If the answer is "no", then cut it!

More tips here, including this activity from the Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL), which is a fantastic resource for writers.

This resource will help you write clearly by eliminating unnecessary words and rearranging your phrases.

The goal of concise writing is to use the most effective words. Concise writing does not always have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Writers often fill sentences with weak or unnecessary words that can be deleted or replaced. Words and phrases should be deliberately chosen for the work they are doing. Like bad employees, words that don't accomplish enough should be fired. When only the most effective words remain, writing will be far more concise and readable.

This resource contains general conciseness tips followed by very specific strategies for pruning sentences.
1. Replace several vague words with more powerful and specific words.
Often, writers use several small and ambiguous words to express a concept, wasting energy expressing ideas better relayed through fewer specific words. As a general rule, more specific words lead to more concise writing. Because of the variety of nouns, verbs, and adjectives, most things have a closely corresponding description. Brainstorming or searching a thesaurus can lead to the word best suited for a specific instance. Notice that the examples below actually convey more as they drop in the word count.

Wordy: The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech (14 words)
Concise: The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. (8 words)

Wordy: Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. (14 words)
Concise: Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6 words)

Wordy: Our website has made available many of the things you can use for making a decision on the best dentist. (20 words)
Concise: Our website presents criteria for determining the best dentist. (9 words)

Wordy: Working as a pupil under someone who develops photos was an experience that really helped me learn a lot. (20 words)
Concise: Working as a photo technician's apprentice was an educational experience. (10 words)

2. Interrogate every word in a sentence
Check every word to make sure that it is providing something important and unique to a sentence. If words are dead weight, they can be deleted or replaced. Other sections in this handout cover this concept more specifically, but there are some general examples below containing sentences with words that could be cut.

Wordy: The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class. (22 words)
Concise: The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)

Wordy: Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band of musicians together in 1969, giving it the ironic name of Blind Faith because early speculation that was spreading everywhere about the band suggested that the new musical group would be good enough to rival the earlier bands that both men had been in, Cream and Traffic, which people had really liked and had been very popular. (66 words)
Concise: Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band in 1969, ironically naming it Blind Faith because speculation suggested that the group would rival the musicians’ previous popular bands, Cream, and Traffic. (32 words)

Wordy: Many have made the wise observation that when a stone is in motion rolling down a hill or incline that that moving stone is not as likely to be covered all over with the kind of thick green moss that grows on stationary unmoving things and becomes a nuisance and suggests that those things haven’t moved in a long time and probably won’t move any time soon. (67 words)
Concise: A rolling stone gathers no moss. (6 words)

3. Combine Sentences.
Some information does not require a full sentence, and can easily be inserted into another sentence without losing any of its value. To get more strategies for sentence combining, see the handout on Sentence Variety.

Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had commissioned three castles. (18 words)
Concise: Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. (11 words)

Wordy: The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words)
Concise: The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words)

(found at http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/572/01/; accessed 11/2010)

Need more hints? Check out Vince's writing tips ▸ https://pinboard.in/u:Vince/t:writingtips/

Friday, September 3, 2021

When should I use acronyms (abbreviated words)?


In general, I encourage my clients to avoid acronyms whenever possible. Unless you need to use an acronym to save words, and unless you use the acronym more than once in your essay or resume, I suggest you spell everything out.

Busy admissions officers readers don't want to have to remember unfamiliar acronyms (abbreviated words). Keeping track of your arcane acronyms slows them down. Make it easier, not harder, for them to admit you. That said, when you must use an acronym multiple times in the same essay, please follow these general guidelines:

Q: HOW AND WHEN DO I USE ABBREVIATED WORDS?
A: Typically, an abbreviation is spelled out at its first instance in an article, followed by the abbreviated form within parentheses; in subsequent instances, only the abbreviation is used. However, this is not compulsory for terms that may be familiar to the intended readers.

CORRECT
As my long-term goal, I plan to become the CEO of my company.
(CEO is a well-known, universal acronym, so you do not need to spell it out the first time)

INCORRECT
I work as an engineer for NTT. NTT is Japan's leading telecommunications company.

INCORRECT
I work as an engineer for Nippon Telegraph and Telephone Corporation ("NTT"). NTT is Japan's leading telecommunications company.
(You don't need to put an acronym in quotes " ".)


CORRECT
I work as an engineer for Nippon Telegraph and Telephone Corporation (NTT). NTT is Japan's leading telecommunications company.
Q: SHOULD I USE ACRONYMS IN ADMISSIONS ESSAYS?
A: Please avoid acronyms. While they are effective in technical reports and internal communications for fellow practitioners, they have no place in admissions essays. Instead, use this opportunity to prove your ability to explain complex, technical information in a way that readers (and future classmates) can understand.


Saturday, August 17, 2019

Use active verbs to convey power in your writing

Power verbs convey action.





Please avoid static verbs like

  • get / got
  • is / was / were (try to only use any form of "to be" 5 times in entire essay)





NY TIMES OPINIONATOR | DRAFT

Make-or-Break Verbs


By CONSTANCE HALE

Published: April 16, 2012
This is the third in a series of writing lessons by the author.

A sentence can offer a moment of quiet, it can crackle with energy or it can just lie there, listless and uninteresting.

What makes the difference? The verb.

Verbs kick-start sentences: Without them, words would simply cluster together in suspended animation. We often call them action words, but verbs also can carry sentiments (love, fear, lust, disgust), hint at cognition (realize, know, recognize), bend ideas together (falsify, prove, hypothesize), assert possession (own, have) and conjure existence itself (is, are).

Fundamentally, verbs fall into two classes: static (to be, to seem, to become) and dynamic (to whistle, to waffle, to wonder). (These two classes are sometimes called "passive" and "active," and the former are also known as "linking" or "copulative" verbs.) Static verbs stand back, politely allowing nouns and adjectives to take center stage. Dynamic verbs thunder in from the wings, announcing an event, producing a spark, adding drama to an assembled group.

Static Verbs

Static verbs themselves fall into several subgroups, starting with what I call existential verbs: all the forms of to be, whether the present (am, are, is), the past (was, were) or the other more vexing tenses (is being, had been, might have been). In Shakespeare's "Hamlet," the Prince of Demark asks, "To be, or not to be?" when pondering life-and-death questions. An aging King Lear uses both is and am when he wonders about his very identity:

"Who is it that can tell me who I am?"

Jumping ahead a few hundred years, Henry Miller echoes Lear when, in his autobiographical novel "Tropic of Cancer," he wanders in Dijon, France, reflecting upon his fate:

"Yet I am up and about, a walking ghost, a white man terrorized by the cold sanity of this slaughter-house geometry. Who am I? What am I doing here?"

Drawing inspiration from Miller, we might think of these verbs as ghostly verbs, almost invisible. They exist to call attention not to themselves, but to other words in the sentence.

Another subgroup is what I call wimp verbs (appear, seem, become). Most often, they allow a writer to hedge (on an observation, description or opinion) rather than commit to an idea: Lear appears confused. Miller seems lost.

Finally, there are the sensing verbs (feel, look, taste, smell and sound), which have dual identities: They are dynamic in some sentences and static in others. If Miller said I feel the wind through my coat, that's dynamic. But if he said I feel blue, that's static.

Static verbs establish a relationship of equals between the subject of a sentence and its complement. Think of those verbs as quiet equals signs, holding the subject and the predicate in delicate equilibrium. For example, I, in the subject, equals feel blue in the predicate.

Power Verbs

Dynamic verbs are the classic action words. They turn the subject of a sentence into a doer in some sort of drama. But there are dynamic verbs - and then there are dynamos. Verbs like has, does, goes, gets and puts are all dynamic, but they don't let us envision the action. The dynamos, by contrast, give us an instant picture of a specific movement. Why have a character go when he could gambol, shamble, lumber, lurch, sway, swagger or sashay?

Picking pointed verbs also allows us to forgo adverbs. Many of these modifiers merely prop up a limp verb anyway. Strike speaks softly and insert whispers. Erase eats hungrily in favor of devours. And whatever you do, avoid adverbs that mindlessly repeat the sense of the verb, as in circle around, merge together or mentally recall.

This sentence from "Tinkers," by Paul Harding, shows how taking time to find the right verb pays off:
"The forest had nearly wicked from me that tiny germ of heat allotted to each person ."
Wick is an evocative word that nicely gets across the essence of a more commonplace verb like sucked or drained.

Sportswriters and announcers must be masters of dynamic verbs, because they endlessly describe the same thing while trying to keep their readers and listeners riveted. We're not just talking about a player who singles, doubles or homers. We're talking about, as announcers described during the 2010 World Series, a batter who "spoils the pitch" (hits a foul ball), a first baseman who "digs it out of the dirt" (catches a bad throw) and a pitcher who "scatters three singles through six innings" (keeps the hits to a minimum).

Imagine the challenge of writers who cover races. How can you write about, say, all those horses hustling around a track in a way that makes a single one of them come alive? Here's how Laura Hillenbrand, in "Seabiscuit," described that horse's winning sprint:

"Carrying 130 pounds, 22 more than Wedding Call and 16 more than Whichcee, Seabiscuit delivered a tremendous surge. He slashed into the hole, disappeared between his two larger opponents, then burst into the lead Seabiscuit shook free and hurtled into the homestretch alone as the field fell away behind him."

Even scenes that at first blush seem quiet can bristle with life. The best descriptive writers find a way to balance nouns and verbs, inertia and action, tranquillity and turbulence. Take Jo Ann Beard, who opens the short story "Cousins" with static verbs as quiet as a lake at dawn:

"Here is a scene. Two sisters are fishing together in a flat-bottomed boat on an olive green lake ."
When the world of the lake starts to awaken, the verbs signal not just the stirring of life but crisp tension:

"A duck stands up, shakes out its feathers and peers above the still grass at the edge of the water. The skin of the lake twitches suddenly and a fish springs loose into the air, drops back down with a flat splash. Ripples move across the surface like radio waves. The sun hoists itself up and gets busy, laying a sparkling rug across the water, burning the beads of dew off the reeds, baking the tops of our mothers' heads."

Want to practice finding dynamic verbs? Go to a horse race, a baseball game or even walk-a-thon. Find someone to watch intently. Describe what you see. Or, if you're in a quiet mood, sit on a park bench, in a pew or in a boat on a lake, and then open your senses. Write what you see, hear and feel. Consider whether to let your verbs jump into the scene or stand by patiently.

Verbs can make or break your writing, so consider them carefully in every sentence you write. Do you want to sit your subject down and hold a mirror to it? Go ahead, use is. Do you want to plunge your subject into a little drama? Go dynamic. Whichever you select, give your readers language that makes them eager for the next sentence.

Next from me: Pitfalls of passive construction.
Constance Hale, a journalist based in San Francisco, is the author of "Sin and Syntax" and the forthcoming "Vex, Hex, Smash, Smooch." She covers writing and the writing life at sinandsyntax.com. 







MIT: Action Verbs
http://web.mit.edu/career/www/guide/actionverbs.html

Management Skills

Administered
Analyzed
Assigned
Chaired
Consolidated
Contracted
Coordinated
Delegated
Developed
Directed
Evaluated
Executed
Organized
Oversaw
Planned
Prioritized
Produced
Recommended
Reorganized
Reviewed
Scheduled
Supervised

Communication Skills

Addressed
Arbitrated
Arranged
Authored
Co-authored
Collaborated
Corresponded
Developed
Directed
Drafted
Enlisted
Formulated
Influenced
Interpreted
Lectured
Mediated
Moderated
Negotiated
Persuaded
Promoted
Proposed
Publicized
Reconciled
Recruited
Spoke
Translated
Wrote

Research Skills

Clarified
Collected
Critiqued
Diagnosed
Evaluated
Examined
Extracted
Identified
Inspected
Interpreted
Interviewed
Investigated
Organized
Reviewed
Summarized
Surveyed
Systematized

Technical Skills

Assembled
Built
Calculated
Computed
Designed
Devised
Engineered
Fabricated
Maintained
Operated
Pinpointed
Programmed
Remodeled
Repaired
Solved
Operated
Pinpointed
Programmed
Remodeled
Repaired
Solved

Teaching Skills

Adapted
Advised
Clarified
Coached
Communicated
Conducted
Coordinated
Developed
Enabled
Encouraged
Evaluated
Explained
Facilitated
Guided
Informed
Instructed
Lectured
Persuaded
Set goals
Stimulated
Taught
Trained

Financial Skills

Administered
Allocated
Analyzed
Appraised
Audited
Balanced
Budgeted
Calculated
Computed
Developed
Managed
Planned
Projected
Researched

Creative Skills

Acted
Conceptualized
Created
Customized
Designed
Developed
Directed
Established
Fashioned
Illustrated
Instituted
Integrated
Performed
Planned
Proved
Revised
Revitalized
Set up
Shaped
Streamlined
Structured

Helping Skills

Assessed
Assisted
Clarified
Coached
Counseled
Demonstrated
Diagnosed
Educated
Facilitated
Familiarized
Guided
Inspired
Motivated
Participated
Provided
Referred
Rehabilitated
Represented
Reinforced
Supported
Taught
Trained
Verified

Clerical or Detail Skills

Approved
Arranged
Cataloged
Classified
Collected
Compiled
Dispatched
Executed
Filed
Generated
Implemented
Inspected
Monitored
Operated
Ordered
Organized
Prepared
Processed
Purchased
Recorded
Retrieved
Screened
Specified
Systematized
Tabulated
Validated

Stronger Verbs for Accomplishments

Accelerated
Achieved
Attained
Completed
Conceived
Convinced
Discovered
Doubled
Affected
Eliminated
Expanded
Expedited
Founded
Improved
Increased
Initiated
Innovated
Introduced
Invented
Launched
Mastered
Originated
Overcame
Overhauled
Pioneered
Reduced
Resolved
Revitalized
Spearheaded
Strengthened
Transformed
Upgraded

From "To Boldly Go: Practical Career Advice for Scientists", by Peter S. Fiske


CV Store: Power Verbs
http://www.thecvstore.net/Power-Verbs.htm

The use of action words/power verbs are essential in the promotion of your skills and experience. Using these words at the start of each bullet point under the details of your employment will assist the reader in noticing your key achievements.

The words you use will obviously depend upon your experience/industry so try not to just stuff your CV full of power words in the hope that this will look good. For example, a candidate applying for a managerial position will want to make use of words such as "oversaw, developed, improved and reduced", whereas someone looking for a more creative role will want to use words such as "designed, compiled and created".

Power verbs to accentuate organisational skills:

Arranged
Categorized
Collected
Compiled
Corrected
Distributed
Filed
Incorporated
Logged
Maintained
Monitored
Observed
Ordered
Organized
Prepared
Recorded
Registered
Reserved
Responded
Reviewed
Scheduled
Screened
Supplied
Updated

Power verbs used to highlight achievements:

Achieved
Built
Created
Developed
Established
Expanded
Founded
Identified
Implemented
Increased
Initiated
Instigated
Launched
Lead
Managed
Reduced
Solved
Streamlined

Other power verbs:

Administered
Advised
Analyzed
Approved
Completed
Conducted
Controlled
Coordinated
Defined
Delivered
Demonstrated
Designed
Instructed
Introduced
Maintained
Negotiated
Oversaw
Performed
Planned
Presented
Supervised
Supported





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